Wow. I just wrote about 6 paragraphs of whining a "poor me" entry. I think this is coming from the fact that Sunday was the third year anniversary of when I moved to TX from CA. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. There are things I thought would of happened by now that have not, but I've discussed that until I was blue in the face. I've decided not to discuss it anymore and it really breaks my heart.

When I look back at what life was like in CA I can only remember good times. I remember having all these great friends. Were they all in my head? No one seems to care now. Besides my brother, his wife, and their new baby I don't feel like I have anything there worth visiting.

I think I have backslid into depression. I am stressed out that I may need to go back to work next week. Just the thought of sitting there on the phone and computer for 10 hours a day make me feel physically ill. I am sad that this is my last week of PT and I don't think the therapist was working the correct areas. Only in this last week (or two) I have felt like I got a great benefit out of our sessions. Friday is my last day.

We are taking Bucko to the vet tomorrow. He is at that age where is little nads will be removed. Due to his psychotic need to play rough with us, stubby, furnishings and carpet, we will be having him declawed as well. I am feeling tremendous guilt about doing this to him. Not to mention that he has abandonment issues still, Michael and I have been discussing going to the vet after he has the procedures done and visit with him so he doesn't feel so alone.

I guess this did turn into a poor me entry. Hopefully the next one will be better.